Post Number Uno

So I'm not really sure what one would do with a blog or how anyone would actually acquire followers...readers? See! Not even sure what to call the target audience for this type of thing. How does a Blogger obtain, for conversations sake we'll call everyone but me who reads this the Peanut Gallery (as lovingly as I can possibly say it), a Peanut Gallery? Until then I think I'll just post a short skit I wrote in high school until I think of something more creative to...blog about.

Note: This was written in 1999 for a drama class.                                

Assignment: write your own Monologue

( old English accent)

Good evening to you all, for that is when I am at my best. You may all know me as the dinner fork but you can call me Bob.

So what shall we talk about today? Hmmm...you know I never had this much trouble thinking of something to talk about when I was a young shrimp fork. I remember those care free entrée days. What fun I had. I must say that it was my favorite time of life because I've always loved the texture of the scrumptious entrée.(chuckles) I remember once...a "fluffy" gentleman could not put me down! I could have sworn he eaten the entire ocean of shrimps, scallops, and mussels. Ahhhh, it was a great year to be a hors d'oeuvres fork. But like all good little shrimpy's, that's what we call the young-ins now a days, I had to move on.

Don't get me wrong, I was excited to become a Salad Fork. But it was nothing what I expected it to be. I was barely eaten off of! Most people used me once or not at all. They either stuck with the entrée, or went right to the main course! But time passed and I started to take an interest in a young butter knife. He was adorable! As time went on, he eventually grew into a handsome steak knife and I finally grew into a dinner fork. What a glorious time to be a dinner fork! I found my love the knife. We were perfect together. I'd hold the meat...he'd slice the meat with precision...almost like a dance it was.

And that's where I am at right now in my life. Pretty soon I'll be an old and wise serving fork and all other forks will come to me for advice.

But if you can keep it between you and me...I'll tell you a little secret. I really wish that I was a spoon! No, no, no....I know what you are thinking. But a spoon is so much more glamorous. Only the spoons really get somewhere in life. Oh what would I do to have a full curve and to be able to carry all those wonderful soups and gravies I could never dream of doing as a fork. To be a spoon, oh what a stir I would make.