Living in Florida has it's ups and downs. It's biggest down is the massive Palmetto bugs, which let's face it they are really just giant cockroaches. These things get to be the size of your hand, people! And if you thought killing the small ones were tough...you should try your luck on these suckers. Even a can of raid isn't going to take these guys out. And I'm not sure if this is a rumor or not but I heard they can survive without their heads for an extended period of time. Nothing like that chicken that lived for 18 months but still...one minute without a head is one minute too long for me.
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| And even that doesn't kill the biggest of roaches sometimes! |
These creepy, slinky, quick moving pests started their vendetta against me during hurricane Charlie. It was so terribly hot due to the power being out I thought it'd be a grand idea to move a mattress downstairs and just sleep in the livingroom. For those of you who don't know, RAIN BRINGS BUGS IN.
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| This....is NOT ok with me. |
My cat Edward, is a master hunter. Especially in his younger days there was nothing that could be present in my house without him being aware of it. If it lived it was because Edward chose to let it live. During the roar of the steadily increasing winds and scattered lightning strikes I felt Edward step onto the mattress. When I felt him pounce on me I knew something was not okay. I turned on the lantern only to see that there was not only a roach on me but they were all over my mattress, living room floor and walls. They scattered as soon as the light turned on and of course Edward was in bug heaven chasing after all of them as I panicked and screamed standing up and shaking out my hair and going into full blown panic mode.
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| This is what I imagine them doing in my house when I'm not around. Germing up the place! |
Since then anytime they appear in my house, not only do they barrel towards me but they strategically place themselves so that I will always see them. I found one about three inches long just hanging out in one of my kitchen drawers and slammed the drawer shut immediately to hopefully trap it (ya right! How'd it get in there in the first place) and wait for my husband to kill it. 20 minutes later I went to make sure it wasn't scurrying around in the kitchen and saw my son's BMW M3 Coupe right below the drawer I found that damned roach in. My son wasn't even home so I know it wasn't him that left it there!
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| I swear that roach was driving that thing around. They think it's like Joe's Motel up in here. |
They've put themselves in my cat's bag of food so when I come down in the morning all dreary eyed and reach into the bag to scoop out some food...there he is sitting right on top of the scooped food. Of course I screamed and cat food went flying everywhere.
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| May be the one that was driving the car around. Not sure. |
And then last night, I knew my cat Abbi had found something under the couch by the way she was behaving. I only hoped that it was an Anoli. I would not be so lucky. Before I knew it Abbi had coaxed that disgusting vial creature out from under the coach and it was now running straight towards me. Cornered I had no where to go but up and found myself standing on my chair ready to jump on my desk and climb up my bookshelf to get away from this thing. My husband, as usual, comes to dispose of this thing and pops it with his shoe supposedly killing it. He comes back with a tissue to pick it up...looks at it and says "I think it might still be alive" and tosses it outside. (Sometimes his need to keep his karma in check is not ok with me) Just like I said it would that toxic creeper was back in my house, waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs the very next morning...gimping around.
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| I develope Spidey Senses when I see a cockroach |
Experts say it's one of the cleanest animals around. I'm sorry but anything that can survive a nuclear holocaust has something seriously wrong with it and is NOT ok in my books. The torture continues...at least until I move somewhere ultra cold where they don't like to exist.
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| Stupid Baer Grylls...why you gotta go and eat those nasty things! |
DEATH TO ALL COCKROACHES!
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